Friday, February 24, 2012

The Story

Something happened to me that I can't fully explain. I know it was by the Holy Spirit. I know it woke me up.

I had been living in a fog. I had no idea how unhappy I was, really. I was living for myself, living in the lesbian lifestyle, using drugs, living for the moment. I had never questioned whether or not homosexuality was okay with God. It had to be. There was nothing I could do to change it. It felt like a part of me, and always had. Besides, God had a whole lot more to worry about than little ole me. He had war, poverty, famine, what did it matter if I was gay?

But then, He spoke to me, He spoke to my heart. He told me I was precious to Him, that He loved me more than I could fathom, that my life was more than anything I had been living for. He opened my eyes to just a glimpse of how beautiful His love really is.

Then, He began pulling me out of my darkness, one step at a time. He showed me that it wasn't me who would have to do the changing, He could change me from within. All I had to do was surrender, and let Him work.

It wasn't easy, but He had my heart in his hands the whole time. He put His followers in my life to help see me through. He brought me people that showed me the love and compassion of Christ. They did not condemn me or make me ashamed, they loved me and prayed for me and believed for me when I couldn't believe.

He began to heal me and make me understand where my brokenness came from. He sloughed off the old, and replaced it with new. He broke through all the old layers to the real me, and restored it.

And then, He did the most beautiful thing of all. He blessed me with healthy love for a man. It was the first time that ever happened to me. I was 31 years old. And that man, who is more wonderful than I ever could have asked for or imagined, became my husband. Now, we pursue Him together.

What God did in me, the way He moved me, I could never fully explain. But I just can't wait to keep knowing Him and living this life for Him, Him alone.

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