I never knew happiness could be so complete. I never knew joy could run SO deeply into my soul. My life has purpose, it has the deepest, utmost meaning, deeper than it's ever had, deeper than I've ever known. I have a soul, and it belongs to Jesus Christ.
I still marvel at being married. I still cannot believe the blessing of my husband. It is proof that Jesus is in the business of changing and restoring and redeeming lives. Not "fluffy God" who resides in everything. Not God who we can be or pretend to be on the same level with, not enlightenment, not nirvana, not my own spiritual greatness that saved me or changed me.
It was my savior, Jesus Christ, that SAVED ME. My SAVIOR, who lifted me up from the grave. Redeemed my life from the pit. Who continued and will continue to forgive me. Who loved me enough to die so brutally. Who was despised and rejected and knows my pain and suffering and my shame, intimately.
He was with me in the dark places. He held me. He comforted me. He enabled me and strengthened me to do what I could not do myself. Who am I kidding if I think I have anything to do with coming out of lesbianism, of coming out of the darkness of Egypt? It was ALL HIM.
I will never understand why such blessing and favor have been showed to me, will never fully comprehend the honor and awe of it. Why did He come after me?
I love Him. To Him be the glory forever and ever for however He will use me. Amen.
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