The Debate at Hand

I’m not a homophobe. Far from it, in fact. It would be awfully hypocritical if I was.

I have dealt with discrimination and hurt and shame from being gay, firsthand. I have gone through the turmoil and nervousness of coming out to my parents and friends. At one point, I reached acceptance and determined that being gay was a part of who I was. And I lived the gay lifestyle for many years.

Of course, I supported gay marriage. I thought anyone who didn’t was either small minded, old fashioned, or prejudiced. I thought gay people should have the right to marry who they wanted, just like any heterosexual. I thought denial of this was unjust. I agreed with the argument that heterosexual people had destroyed the institution of traditional marriage anyway. With the divorce rate being so high, how did straight people have a leg to stand on in denying gays from marriage? Why not allow us to do so? And Christians, who touted the supposed “sanctity of marriage,” seemed insensitive and silly. 

But things are different with me now. Everything is different, in fact.  I see things in an entirely new light.  And I think I know. I think I know what marriage is supposed to be.

It’s supposed to be something radiant.  It’s supposed to be something glorious. It’s supposed to be a contract broken only by death. It’s supposed to be the most fulfilling union ever possible between two humans. And it’s supposed to be representative of a love much greater than ours.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27

It’s supposed to be Holy. It’s supposed to be an intimate, loving, sacrificial relationship.  It's supposed to be so close that two become one.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  Ephesians 5:31

It is a profound mystery, this marriage love.  It runs so deep, it goes beyond our physical bodies and into the fathomless depths of the heart of Christ.  It reaches us in our innermost place, a place only He can illuminate. Husband and wife, Christ and the Church. Both bound together by God.

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Matthew 19:6

A union created and united by God Himself.

And now, even as we speak, we raise a question to the highest governing authority of our nation.  Do we change this?  Do we change marriage?  Do we redefine this law?

It was a whole lot easier when this nation, as a whole, agreed on most things. When the leaders of our country and its people shared a common moral compass, we stood united.  But now, questions of whether or not aborting an unborn baby is murder or whether or not gay marriage should be legal are at hand.  These issues, ones of great importance to our morality as a nation, have been and will be determined acceptable or not based on our legislature.  And because of this, our nation stands divided.

It’s not that I want to be divisive.  It's not that I want to deny anyone any rights. Remember, I fought for those rights myself at one point. It’s not that I don’t understand the cause of the gay people and that they would be fighting for what they believe. I relate to them and I understand them for that.

But what I do want...what is in my heart...is to uphold a belief that things should be what they were created to be. That marriage should be all of what it was supposed to be.  All of what it was created to be.  All of what it was founded upon.

I do want to uphold a belief that something bigger than us had a vision and a purpose for marriage from the beginning of time, and that the vision should be realized within us. I do believe, ultimately, that this vision, which is way above our understanding at times, is what’s best for us. I believe it can be trusted.  I believe that, however misunderstood at times, the vision comes from a deep, deep love and longing for us.  The heart of where love began.  And because of that love, I believe the vision is good. 

I am not a homophobe.  I just want God's heart for this country and its people. And I believe His vision of marriage is true.